Dandelion Fluff In The Wind...

Today's article is going to be short, but oh, so sweet!


With the introduction of the new weekly blog In the Lab with a Girl Named James, it has become apparent that the Girl Named James is developing into an entire brand. So I am pleased to announce the construction of a full web suite incorporated into the domain girlnamedjames.com!

Stay tuned for further information! The winds are picking up quickly around here! In the meantime, click on the above link to see our first experiment!

The Countdown Begins...

I am really going full-steam-ahead with my new weekly blog, In the Lab with a Girl Named James. I am going to be updating everyone daily as the construction continues. Please see the announcement below for the initial post, and click on the link to see the awesome layout and design. It is going to be a super-fun project, and I hope you will enjoy and support it as much as you do this blog. Please spread the word, and remember to subscribe to both feeds so you never miss a thing!

Welcome to my lab!

The official start date for this blog is Monday, February 14, 2011. However, you have been selected for a special preview of what’s coming! Bookmark this link:

In the Lab with a Girl Named James

The purpose of this blog is to conduct lifestyle experiments in order to make informed decisions about health and fitness. I will then be able to make recommendations based on the results of each study.

*Spoiler Alert!*

My initial experiment is coffee-related! Subscribe to the feed or email alerts and follow the blog now so that you can be the very first to see my findings!

You will thoroughly enjoy the supplemental section entitled, “Mr. Blurbie Says,” where my young laboratory assistant (my son) will provide his own unique observations. If you choose to follow the blog, please indicate in the body of your message whether you are following because of a Girl Named James or if you are actually following Mr. Blurbie!

Another exciting feature of this new blog will be the Reviews. I will be testing products, services, web sites, etc. and providing insightful reviews and links. If you have merchandise or services that you would like to have reviewed on this blog, please feel free to contact me using the email address above.

If you have a comment, question, or suggestion about this blog, please feel free to use the Comments area. I will always respond to your comment. So tell all your friends and stop by often! Everyone is welcome in the lab with a Girl Named James!

Potty training is such a personal issue.

Not just because it involves private rooms and special papers and silent prayers. Sometimes there are personal feuds and hate campaigns waged against the weaker side. Sieges—some go on for days, even weeks. Sometimes there is justification, other times, there is frustration, or exhaustion, or both. I have a strict policy against revealing private family matters, but in this case I must break my silence and reveal the abuse that I suffer from my toddler. Maybe by reaching out and sharing my personal pain, someone else will be able to break the cycle.

I have to preface my story by letting you know that this child is absolutely stunningly beautiful. When she smiles, her eyes cast out rays of pure sunlight. Imagine the swelling waves of love and heartache I feel when she is unhappy with me. Now imagine my dark horror when she takes vengeance on me in the most bizarre (and, dare I say—calculated?) ways. Too young, is she? Overreacting, am I? You will soon agree with me.

A perfect example happened just yesterday. To bring you up to speed, she has been daytime trained for approximately one month, and she does exceedingly well, even in public places. I have been nighttime training her for roughly a week, and even though that is coming along well, we have a way to go. At any rate, she is perfectly capable of using the bathroom when she is fully awake. With a bathroom right outside her bedroom door and another right next to her favorite room downstairs (you could even say that it is in the room, because of the open floor plan), this little girl should never have to travel more than ten of her tiny steps to go to the potty. And if she is sitting at the bottom of the stairs, it is more like three of her tiny steps. But every now and then…

Yesterday, she got upset with me about something. I think she wanted me to carry something upstairs for her and my hands were full or some end-of-the-world type catastrophe like that. When she refused to go upstairs, I told her I would be waiting for her when she changes her mind, and I proceeded to go upstairs to make a couple of beds. But when I took the first mattress pad out of the basket, I heard a strange noise. It sounded like grubby little fingers squeaking across my glass table top. When I went downstairs to make sure my beautiful daughter was behaving herself, she was sitting on one of my dining room chairs.

Stop right there! You need to know something about me.

I do not allow my children to sit at the dining room table unless we have company and we are eating a meal together. And this was not just one of the children—it was the toddler! Sitting on my custom-upholstered chair (not customized for me, but I’m sure the person I bought them from paid their designer a ton of money for the custom fabric—and they kept it in pristine condition—and so have I), rubbing her sticky fingers all over my beveled glass table top. The toddler! So I very calmly…

quite gently…

snatched her up…

to find that she had…

wait for it…

urinated on my chair.

Believe me when I tell you that I do not believe in punishing toddlers for having accidents when they are learning to use the potty. I am diametrically opposed to it. It is counter-productive, confusing, and undermines their trust and security. But yesterday, my daughter got a refresher course in the “no children at the dining table” rule. So now you know some of the personal torment attached to my potty training experience. If there is a lesson to learn from this, I would say it is simply this:

It is not wrong to let kids work through their own anger issues, alone.

But do not ever, under any circumstances, leave your child alone if she or he is angry with you.

Special Announcement! Changes Coming soon!

The past few weeks have been some of the most exciting of my life. Blogging has opened up a whole new realm of interests to me that I never knew existed until now (which is absolutely no indication of my age, I assure you). The most intriguing discovery I have made has been finding out how many people are interested in the same quirky topics as I am. (Living on a flat planet really sheds new light on Square Peg Syndrome. As it turns out, there are no round pegs after all.) This is quickly growing from a pet project into a full-sized pet, with daily needs that must be addressed on demand. Blogging once or twice a week is no longer going to be enough. I am already in the habit of waking up early enough to write. The layout and design are easy enough to modify. Now I just have to do the actual writing rather than trying to make the appearance and flow perfect (or just sitting there with my cup of coffee trying not to wake anyone else in the house).

I have a strong fear of commitment—but since I’m married and have children, I’m not exactly sure what things I am really afraid to commit to. Without hard evidence that I will not be able to keep up with my daily (Monday-Friday) blogging activities, I am going to forge ahead and make the commitment. I cannot give myself a deadline for when this will officially begin; that would be too much like having a job.  But it is my sincere intention to add my ideas to mankind’s combined knowledge every weekday that this blog exists. Now is the time to follow and subscribe to the feed, to ensure that you don’t miss out on a single episode! I appreciate any suggestions or content requests, so please feel free to leave a comment any time.

Setting a daily writing goal is major for me, but now I am going to stretch the limits of my new responsibilities. I have decided to introduce a new weekly blog. The title is In the Lab with a Girl Named James. Every week I will modify my life in one significant way, and I will publish my observations on the following Monday morning. Since Monday is historically uncomfortable for most people returning to work and routines after the refreshment of the weekend, it must be the perfect day to share the joys of living outside of my comfort zone. My school-age lab assistant will be providing his own marginal remarks when inspired to do so, in a section entitled Mr. Blurbie Says. If you have a web site or a product that promotes healthy living or improves the quality of life, and you would like for me to test it for review on In the Lab with a Girl Named James, please email me. Roll-out date for the new blog is Monday, February 14, 2011. Be sure to check back here Monday morning for the official announcement and link.

Descent…. :

How a family of 5 survived for 3 weeks with a mini fridge.

Part 3:

Cold as Ice, Willing to Sacrifice Our Love

Three weeks. 

At my age, three weeks really should drift by just like a feather in the breeze. Most of the time, it would. But I have invested vast amounts of conscious thought and energy and effort to the art of eating. Having been obese for a year and overweight for more than five years, I well know how to occupy my mind with edible inspiration. Take away my ability to store enough meals and snacks for a week, and I become a beast. Take away my family’s ability to whimsically pop something in our mouths without a second thought, and you may as well walk into a house on fire. We had cabin fever and claustrophobia, even though the size of our living space did not change at all—the only thing that had changed was the size of our cold food storage space. Guess that’s why they say, “Home is where your heart is.” Our hearts must have been in the refrigerator, and the refrigerator was shrinking. For more than a week longer than we had expected.

Finally, the morning arrived for our new delivery. Everyone in the house was up early. The kitchen was cleaned. The bar stools, sofa, and breakfast table were moved to clear a path from the front door to the kitchen. When the call came, it was like I was still sleeping. I watched the truck from the front of my subdivision until it rounded the first curve, and then I held my breath until I saw it coming down my street. The sound of voices was like my head was under water, like the sound just before waking from a dream, when you realize you will be angry if you have to let it go. OK, wait six hours for something...don't apply cleansers directly to the surface...blah blah blah...sign here...be sure to give us a good rating.... Hey, guess what? I'm awake, and I have a new, working, normal-sized refrigerator! Still under the manufacturer's warranty.

Well, we made it. None of us developed any eating disorders, none of us lost any weight, and none of us tried to eat each other. In fact, once we learned to accept the time line, our bodies adapted as well. We began to purchase more fresh fruit (only enough for 2 days) and to eat it while it was still fresh. We began to think in terms of our immediate needs, and not to greedily consume more than we need just because it is there (so easy to learn when it wasn’t there anymore). When we were first thrust into this situation, I thought it would be one of the worst trials we ever had to endure. Looking back, we all appreciate the revolution in our eating (and shopping) habits that was brought on by this unexpected loss.

On the subject of shopping…

The day the new refrigerator was delivered, my children and I spent five hours shopping for food! Four hours at Wal-Mart, and an hour at Publix. We had to replace all of the basic staples that belong in the refrigerator—condiments, dairy products, fruit juices. We also had to shop for our weekly meals and snack foods. It was the first time I had enjoyed grocery shopping in over twenty years! My favorite part of the day was consulting my sketches at home to organize the shelves for optimal convenience. Now my refrigerator is as orderly as one you would see on television. I even organized some of the items in the pantry! I am so proud of my efficient kitchen, which never would have been born if my less-than-two-years-old Whirlpool [lemon] refrigerator had not died. Let’s eat!